Lost in Death
by willa. j
Summary: Rogue thinks about her life. remy talks to her for a couple of seconds the rogue passes out.
1. thinking

Finding a place to relax  
Always trying to get free  
Nothing in my life  
Except for pain and misery  
  
I've stopped looking for my answers  
There is nothing to surprise me anymore  
To think of what once was  
And never will be any more  
  
Trying to stay alive  
May be if I live long enough I'll survive  
Trying to drown out this pain  
That's making me go insane  
  
Come tell me I don't deserve to live  
And I'd tell you to fuck off  
Don't listen to the "A" crowd  
Don't give a damn about being different  
This is my life  
And I'd be damned  
If I ever took my cue from you  
So back off  
Let your hair down  
You don't always have to look like a clown  
  
Thinking is a vital key  
That's what brings all my misery  
Thinking of what could be but never really was  
Thinking I had a chance . . .  
  
I don't dare really care  
For I know that road all to well  
As I once also knew hope  
But my life has died  
And I have lied  
But that's so fun to note  
  
I am not like I ever was -- never to be again  
Sitting in my chair  
Thinking everything's the same  
Waiting for my life to end  
Waiting for the day to come  
When I will leave the hell I'm in never to return  
Thinking is too hard for me  
I think I shall never really see  
Goodbye to one and all  
Goodbye to those who care  
Goodbye my life it was never really fair 


	2. changes

Disclaimer: I own nothing isn't that obvious.  
  
Okay this is my POV on everything but the names are so you know who I am talking about. Yeah, hope it aint too confusing.  
  
Rogue POV  
  
Rogue woke up early. She has been having terrible nightmare and she can't relate to them at all. They are just blending together now. Everybody's pain and her own. She can't take it. It's like the world has colapesed and she can't die because nobody would be left to feel the pain. No matter it's hers to endure and hers alone. Nobody can get close to the untouchable. Nobody would want to.  
  
Rogue decided to take a walk. It was raining out how perfect. She slips on a coat with her regular attire and slips out onto the balcony. She turns her face to the sky and lets the rain cascade down her face. She needs no make-up. No need to hide from anyone here. She can be herself. The child looking for something or someone back can't reach that goal on her own. She has decided to never again hope, dream or feel.  
  
Remy POV  
  
But unbeknownst to her a strange red eyed man has been watching from the shadows. She cannot see him of course. The thief never gets caught in an attempt to steal a rare jewel and why should he now? He has stolen many things but has yet to catch the eye of one fille. And that challenge he is still working on. For he can sense her fear, desire, remorse, and most of all her pain. That nobody on earth should have to deal with but for her it's a regular occurrence. For him he just wants to redeem himself. He wants no ties with the girl but he does feel for her. He feels lost and so does she.  
  
Rogue POV  
  
She stood there on the balcony for what seemed like forever. Rogue sighed and jumped down to the ground. She started towards the gate but found a pair of red eyes staring back at her. She was not scared or frightened. They were beautiful eyes and she also could feel him following her everywhere. He had been trailing her for the last three days. She had seen these eyes many times before some where real and some where in her dreams. Not the nightmares she had been having but in actual dreams. But she never dreamed did she?  
  
"What do yah want?" rogue asks half heartily  
  
"Remy wan' t' know if yer alright chere?" Remy questions looking right into her green eyes.  
  
"Ah'm fine." She lazily replied staring into his.  
  
"You know chere its not nice to lie to Remy." Remy states then smirks.  
  
"Ah aint lyin'." Rogue mutters defending herself while dropping her eyes from his gaze.  
  
"Is t'at why you don' wan' t' look Remy in the eye chere." Remy lightly puts his fingers on her chin and tilts her head upwards.  
  
"It ain't none of yer business swamp rat. So, stay out of it." Rogue harshly states while backing away and turning to walk towards the gate.  
  
"Chere, Remy be here anytime you need to talk."  
  
"Yah ah know. Bye Remy"  
  
"Bye chere."  
  
She can't believe he hasn't left yet. –VOICES-- why should he? He hasn't gotten his prize yet. You know all he wants is to date you and dump you. You know what kind of man he is send him packing already. Stop it. Just stop it. You can't hurt us rogue were all in your head. You hurt us then you hurt yourself or we hurt you. Vicious cycle I know. Why haven't you left him yet. You know your not good enough for him. He chooses when he comes and goes not me. I just answer his questions. Yes, my dear, but does he answer any of yours? And why do you only talk to him? Rogue thinks about this for a while then shuts all her psyches away. I don't only talk to him there is Kitty and Kurt and ... (she knows she hasn't been talking to them at all lately. She has shut everyone out)  
  
Remy POV  
  
Chere you are too hard on yourself. You cannot fight all your own battles even though you try so hard. You need somebody to help you. And hopefully someday soon that somebody will be me. hopefully you will open up before it is too late.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

my summery hopefully answers some questions...Remy and Rogue have been talking for weeks now but nothing has really been said. Remy just stays with her. Everyday he asks her how she is feeling. Everyday she has shut him out. The past week she has been even more anti- social than usual. She won't talk to anyone except Remy. He is trying to help but he knows he cannot push her. 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

For my purposes Remy is still an Acolyte and an enemy but Rogue has given up on everyone and does not care anymore.  
  
Questions? Comments, Queries I will try to answer all your questions before Friday because I won't be able to update again for three months. Really don't ask, please. and hopefully anfter that i won't put all my work off like i do. And I know that this was crappy but I really wanted to write something before I left. anyway I was working on another story and if all the kinks are worked out you should have it by the start September. I know its along ways away it bugs me too. But right now I have a lot on my plate. And no I did not bite off more than I could chew it grew in my mouth. Don't know where the quote is from but I like it.  
  
PS. THANKS FOR ALL THE WONDERFULL REVIEWS!!

PS 2 and maybe i might write another poem if you want one.(by friday)


	3. fainting

Pain it's all the same, everyday.  
All in the same way,  
Watching the sky as I cry  
Nobody to know.  
They just wash away.  
The tears don't stay.  
But the memories lie  
That's what makes me cry.  
They aren't even mine  
And they're in my mind.

Cherie.  
  
I'm cold nothing can destroy me.  
Ice cold, nothing can help me.  
The pain seeps into my soul  
Here's who I wannabe,  
Somebody who can fly free.

Looking around, taking in every sound,  
Just waiting for life to pass me by.  
Nothing in this world could ever make me cry,  
I wonder why? Do I really wanna die?

I'm thinkin' in the rain.  
Have I totally gone insane?  
Doesn't matter for once  
'cause I don't feel the pain.

Cherie?

I can watch everybody  
As they talk and play,  
Nobodies really got anything to say.

Cruel, cruel world how can I get free  
Wallowing in all my misery  
Taking one last look at what I knew

Watching you look at me  
What are you looking at?  
What do you see?

I hear what they say.  
I've heard it all before.  
You have to be scared of her  
Because she's scarier than before.

Cherie!  
  
Then rogue passes out and Remy catches her; Remy then takes Rogue into the mansion to get help. Although, he really doesn't think anyone of them can help her. They were too late just like he was. But just maybe he can still get through to her. One way or another he won't give up. She would want him to do that. But he can't, every time he looks at her he can feel her pain. Everything that other people miss, they don't know her because she doesn't know herself. She hides because nobody has taught her not too. Nobody has given her a chance. Nobody understands her, not like he does because he was her not so very long ago.

Why can't you look me in the eye  
Come cherie wake up don't cry

Pass the time by sitting in the corner  
All the stares they think you hurt her.  
Can't forgive themselves  
For what you've done

Beep, beep I can't sleep  
Come on wake up anytime  
I wanna see your eyes  
Bright green emeralds  
Shining like the sun  
In the skies

You don't know what you do to me  
You don't know why I'm here  
Just call it intuition  
Or maybe it's just fear.

Will Remy be the one to give her that chance? Or is it too late?


End file.
